This issue features a conversation we had with a person named Nick. On November 5, 2023, Nick kindly sat down with a group of strangers at a table filled with Wendy’s sauce packets and beautiful glass tableware. Prior to the interview, the only things we knew about Nick were that he was in a frat and his name was Nick.
The conversation captures what Nick does first thing in the morning, what his name means to him, what music makes him cry, and parts of his life that exist beyond his labels. It was a moment for us to get to know him as a friend sitting across from us at the table.
This publication documents a moment where diverse individuals meet, fostering connections that transcend conventional labels. Celebrating the uniqueness of every person, we explore layers to reveal individuality often overlooked in a seemingly uniform landscape. In this process, we invite you to embrace a more open-minded perspective of others, embracing a deeper understanding of the world.
Christy, Gretchen, Olivia, Tara
Naw, it’s ok.
[ Tara: We’re just gonna do something, it’s gonna be very fun and light hearted.
[Gretchen: It won’t be a too up close shot. Maybe we can do some post production touching if you want.]
guess I should have patted my nose,
geez like.
Renaissance tables.
No,
no,
I don’t know what I’m getting myself into here. Getting a little nervous now.
Yeah,
even though like the setup is not very casual. ]
woah
Nick is here. Have a seat!
WHERE IS FROM?
[Gretchen: Okay, so
like a question
From Chicago, Illinois. But I,
actually, was born in Chicago. Grew up in Northwest Indiana, like right across the border. Went to school in the city of Chicago my whole life. And then my Mom moved to the city.
mid-childhood I guess.
Like,
My Dad lives in Indiana. Mom lives in Chicago.
[Gretchen Yeah.
Chicago city city.]
Yeah,
city.
So when my mom moved there, I was younger. It was like University of Chicago area, Hyde Park. And then now when I go home, it’s the north side. If you’re like familiar, Lincoln Park, Old Town. So like five to ten blocks north of like the heart of the city.
DID KNOW
HE WANTED TO JOIN A FRAT?
But that didn’t really work out.
[Gretchen: Did you know like coming into college that you wanted to join a frat?]
So no,
actually like
I came into college thinking I didn’t want to join a fraternity. A lot of my friends and I like we boozed a lot in high school.
Like I was like
my mentality going in was like
Been there,
done that.
chugging enough shitty beer
like,
I don’t really need to keep on like
doing that anymore.
And then when I came here during COVID, like two, three weeks into freshman year, I was like,
dude,
I just need to,
like,
go out and like,
hang out with some of the boys and grab a beer. And so I think, I was gonna like focus down on studies and kind of just like, reel it in a little bit for a few years.
[Gretchen: Yeah, I get it.
I feel like it’s hard to find people who have like,
similar interest in that way. I feel like
[Tara: You’re a senior?]
Am I a senior?
Yeah.
so.]
WHAT DID FIND IN A
FRAT THAT HE DID NOT EXPECT?
[Tara: What was something unexpected that you found out from joining a frat?]
So...
Okay,
I mean, one,
just joining,
I do to fit the fraternity type.
So like, deep down, I probably knew it.
But just joining at all, that was a change at first.
And then within the fraternity,
Um…
I didn’t,
I think I didn’t expect the school to be so harsh on Greek life I guess.
That’s what I’d say. Yeah.
[Gretchen: They’ve been haters.]
Okay,
so I guess, I took last semester, last spring semester off, and I was doing an internship at Tesla.
But during that time, we essentially got kicked off campus.
And so we’re like, we’re no longer an active chapter.
I probably wouldn’t have been an active member anyways this year,
just because I’ve kind of moved on from it.
I’m older, not really the great same value to me. I’ve been in the center of focus for a lot of our problems. And so it was kind of nice not being this one,
but it’s just,
And like,
we just have like a party on the weekend, and we’re getting shut down. So and there’s some other stuff too. It’s not just that
but it’s just I was like,
the comparison of what I’ve heard from other friends outside of CMU to this is so different,
which is it’s kind of shocking to me.
[Tara: I’m not at all a part of any
Greek Life so like what does
that mean]
WHAT IS 'S DAILY
ROUTINE?
So my daily routine has definitely changed over the years.
Like, this year,
I feel like I’ve grown up a little bit where,
you know,
I try to wake up at like 6:30–7 or 7:30–8, 8:30, at the absolute latest. And then I’ll work for a few hours. On days I have classes early, it’s just
class,
class,
class,
you’re working. But I tried to do work between like 8:30 and 6:30, everyday. And then,
I mean,
somedays, you know,
goes to 12, 12:30 at night.
But so,
this year, I’ve been a lot more like focused on work this year,
but I guess beforehand, it would really be like, night time rolls around unless I have an assignment due. It’s like 9pm
what are the boys doing?
Okay,
Go figure out those plans,
probably get up to nothing good.
And then the next day until like, 1pm is recovery. Like, you know,
wake up at 11:30 like,
“Oh geez, have class within an hour.”
Or something like that.
But on weekends?
Hockey’s been a lot bigger this year. So I’ve been trying to really get the team going on that.
[Gretchen: And
Yeah. I mean,
so I pretty much grew up playing sports, starting from like two or three years old. Played soccer for most of my life, switched into hockey in like middle school. But here like,
I don’t know if you know,
um,
Fernando and I, we restarted the club hockey team. And so that’s been like a really rewarding experience to go from like,
nothing, like,
there was no hockey here, to now, It’s like, we have a team and but like we only get like, 20 people on any given day.
But,
yeah,
well.
Yeah, sports has definitely been a place for me just to kind of like, go and stop everything else for a while, like whether it’s playing, or watching.
It’s like an hour or two of the day where nothing else in the world really matters.
So, it’s kind of a good reset.
Nice to have.
Absolutely, yeah, definitely.
Like, just feeling a little clearer in your head and like, being able to not think for a couple hours is super helpful. It’s almost like
A SONG WILL
ALWAYS CRY TO ?
So I’m horrible at song names,
but I definitely think,
I don’t think
I will think of the name,
I can think of like the song if that helps
but
shoot
Nothing unless I start to sing it like
[Gretchen: You can sing it.]
[Tara: Oh, yeah.]
No,
no
it’s really alright
[Gretchen: You can explain what the song is about.]
In terms of music,
I don’t really listen to the words.
I’m like,
It’s all about rhythm,
I still play the piano,
like,
you know,
and whether it’s rap or pop,
that stuff definitely hits me a little harder than anything else.
And so it’s like,
rhythmically interesting music is what I’m into.
And then like,
between that obviously, you can have sad songs. I feel like even some like,
a lot of like,
non-sad lyrical songs will like pierce through me just because of the tune, and so that will,
that will get me going,
but I can’t think of any,
any songs off the top of my head right now.
I guess.
Yeah.
Yeah,
Yes.
Like
I guess the meaning of the words don’t put into motion how there’s,
the words don’t really like play into the emotion for me or like,
like,
you know,
sadness there. How they sound I guess matters,
but it’s not the meaning of it.
like a little bit of Coldplay or something.
Yeah,
[Gretchen: Yeah, that’s a good one.]
whether its to work or whatever’s going on. And so it’s a great like,
reset of like,
grounding yourself and understanding what’s important and what’s not.
WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO ?
A lot actually.
Um,
I won’t even ask to see if I can get some guidance.
I’ll just go for it.
But uh,
so I would say when I talk to my friends they would say we definitely,
definitely have a good laugh looking back at some of the stuff.
Family-wise,
really tough split up I guess,
and so I don’t want to go into all the details.
I kind of already alluded to it but my parents split up and it was a really,
But that one was like an eight to ten year ordeal.
l definitely learned a lot through that.
From that I kind of had to grow,
I grew up quickly.
[Gretchen: Okay, I’m gonna ask a tricky one here.
Do you think what has happened has impacted your own personal relationships in like trusting people and things like that?]
Yeah,
I’d say so.
I’d say I’m,
I’m like,
I’m very,
uh like,
I try to be very self sufficient,
self reliant
Like,
I don’t try to put my problems,
or uh,
I don’t try to put myself in a situation where I have to rely on someone else
And I definitely don’t open up easily. I’ve had past relationships and friendships, whatever you want to call it, where people have,
like, called me out.
And so it’s something,
like,
I did work on,
or uh,
I don’t think I’m actively working on it,
but yeah,
I did work on for a couple years to like,
get better.
growing up, its just like, you have your family to turn to. I feel like I didn’t really have that.
I definitely was more closed off and not,
uh,
not as open to all that.
Just because like,
So.
I definitely keep a lot bottled up. Things don’t come out to see the light of day.
Yeah.
like opening up to us in this weird setting.]
[Tara: Well,
I mean,
it means a lot that you came here today and are
Yeah, true
[Gretchen: And I guess that sports is like helpful to like
release some of that in a way that isn’t words.]
each one chose a different parent. And then I was like, the one who was stuck in the middle and went back and forth and saw them the whole time.
Yeah,
well,
I mean,
so I probably, probably would have uh,
I didn’t like talk to my Dad for months, almost a year.
And I probably wouldn’t have continued to see him.
Like,
so my older, older siblings,
I never like, picked a side.
I went to school in the city. I’m out in the city, my friends are in the city, Northwest Indiana isn’t exactly the most appealing place to be. But I played hockey down there.
And so I probably would have never like continued seeing my Dad if I didn’t play hockey because it’s like,
you know,
And so like,
that’s really one of the only things that kept me going down for a while. Looking back on it. Yeah, like, there’s always stuff that happened, but you know,
it’s
that’s definitely the easiest ones to point to,
like,
that if that wasn’t there (hockey) that (Nick seeing his father) probably wouldn’t have happened.
So I keep it going here.
[Gretchen: Thank you for sharing.]
That was senior year. We were probably on pace to have like, such a great year, like in the fall, winning state, all the boys were eating, or whatever.
But otherwise, I don’t know, some of the great things that have happened to me in the opposite side of the scale.
I,
going back to sports, won a state championship in soccer which surprised me. That was a big deal.
Yeah,
And then COVID happens. So that was that was really tricky.
It kind of took that away.
WHAT DOES THINK IS TOO
SERIOUS TO JOKE ABOUT?
Hmm,
I think there’s a lot there. Stay out of the political realm.
I’m gonna rule that one out.
I’m not going to put myself in that hot water,
but um,
too serious?
I would say uh,
like,
not necessarily death, but losing a loved one.
And whatever that comes with. There’s also a time factor in there. And obviously,
if it’s fresh, It’s too serious to be joked about
I’m sure years down the road it could be a little fun joke to have,
but yeah.
Other than that,
too serious?
ummm,
I would say people, maybe uh…
people’s flaws that they haven’t come to terms with themselves maybe. And then also the key is like,
if whether or not they themselves have come to terms with it.
Yeah, it’s like
the ability to
be able to see
three steps ahead.
When we say like, something’s wrong. We thought about it. Is this gonna make me feel bad?
Yes.
Yeah.
[Gretchen: “Yeah, are you sure you want to wear those pants?” And then it’s like, well, I can’t change them now.]
Yeah, it’s kind of foresight there. Yeah.
WHAT IS ’S MOST
FEARED NATURAL DISASTER?
Oooh uh...
not tornadoes, or hurricanes,
Not ,
though there can be a lot I’ll rule some out.
umm,
I would say something to do with water even though I like I love the water, love swimming, but I hate snakes.
And so like water snakes like
during flooding whenever that’s going on that’s like an irrational fear I have. I think that’d go out the window in terms of like crisis.
Yeah, so like, biology, or whatever, class snake. Like people would like put it on my desk (grimaces).
Like, honestly.
I don’t like I don’t know why or where it came from. So whenever people ask me why, the answer I give is that like,
Yeah, its not like I’m seeing an eel and like freaking out and going back to the boat.
[Tara: Like frogs they jump.]
That’s like, they have legs.
Like it’s like a kid jumping, walking.
But yeah like so fish or whatever. Sea animals don’t have legs, but they swim and that’s like a normal thing. The other one would be like like worms, I guess, but worms like they inch crawl,
whatever they call it.
No. So I’ve like snorkeled, scuba dived, and I’ve like swam with like eels.
Oh I wouldn’t say I love eels. They’re a little terrifying, but I’m not like irrationally
afraid.
But snakes I’m going the other way.
No, no thank you.
Yeah,
it’s a little different than a snake I guess.
[Gretchen: Sometimes they just like wiggle.]
[Tara: What about like eels? do you go into that territory? Like isn’t eel snake a snake?]
[Gretchen: What about centipedes?]
[Gretchen: Interesting. I never thought about that.]
That’s fine. Bugs. I don’t have a problem with like spiders. Like they have legs so you know, like they’re normal. Yeah.
Everything on earth
either
walks
swims
or flies
right?
Like those are like the three verbs, I would classify everything into
but then snakes,
they
Like they have their own verb of how they move.
That just pushes me the wrong way.
IF WERE A VERB
WHAT ACTION WOULD IT DESCRIBE?
[Tara: It can be anything. It can be like ‘what is your’ like, to Tara is to flake out of an appointment. ]
[Gretchen: Yeah. To Grechen, probably just to like, wear a weird outfit.]
It’s kind of like my motto I guess, of like, I guess it depends on like, what’s going on, but 90% of the year. It’s go go go whether it’s working or you know, having fun. No downtime, and sometimes it comes back to bite me in the ass.
but yah work hard play hard.
to Nick is to…
work hard play hard.
I like to, you know, like think I’m invincible until yeah
it humbles me,
WHAT IS 'S RELATIONSHIP
WITH HIS MOTHER?
I’d say I have a very unorthodox relationship with my mom. She was never really like a mother.
So because we like they brought my siblings into the fold so much growing up, like we never really had that. Like, mother’s son or like mother daughter relationship. It was kind of we’re more on equal playing field, I guess.
You know, there’s, there’s less um like, especially growing up why it’s like less do this do that. I was like, actually, like, seems like you have your own problems to worry about, mom, I’m sorry.
Like, but now and then once we’re older. just like,
most like, I feel like most people don’t like drop their moms off on dates and stuff like that. Or like most moms like don’t like... I love my mom. Sally’s great.
Like, I threw, I was able to throw absolute like, bangers in my house and always have the friends over and everything like that. And she was super fun. Like, not completely alright with it. I definitely put in the work to do be able that. But, it wasn’t like, it was definitely I think odd compared to most other mother-son relationships I had seen. And so now growing up, or grown up, you know, I think it’s pretty, pretty normal, I guess. But during that like,
you know, 12 to 17, 18 those years like that was, was definitely interesting and like, less, less structure than I guess a lot of people might have. But I probably wouldn’t share much with my parents anyways, even if it wasn’t that way. So but yeah.
DOES THINK FUNERALS
ARE FOR THE DEAD OR THE LIVING?
[Tara: Feel like, it depends on your like, what your thoughts are on afterlife.]
And so it’s for, you know, celebration and remembrance of like, the people who are living today like to come together and support each other more.
So, my immediately out of go to is for the living. In my belief, I’m not a very spiritual person at all, I would say, just to generalize, I guess I put myself more in like agnostic. But I think,
you know, once you’re in the dirt, you’re in the dirt.
[Tara: We got you a pack of beer as a thank you, here let me grab it. ]
The interview came to an end as the pipes above our space began clanging and Nick had to leave to go watch the Bears game. We were college students, from different worlds, coming together on a Sunday afternoon, to have a talk about our lives, eat some food, and discover the story behind a name, learning to look past collective identities and pre-conceived notions that shaped them.
[Gretchen: I feel like we got a lot of good stuff. Thank you for doing this.]